...an average level of individual development...

I've mentioned previously that I'm back in school. I'm pursuing a Bachelor's degree in Psychology at Ashford University online and plan to obtain a Master's in Occupational Therapy by the time I'm finished.

I miss going to school on campus, but I'm finding the online format has allowed me the ability to continue, and hopefully this time, complete my Bachelor's degree. The format is simple. Class begins on Tuesday and continues for five consecutive weeks. As soon as one class ends on Monday, the next class begins with no break--and no summer vacation. But I should finish my degree faster and I only have to focus on one subject at a time. However since we are covering an entire semester of material in five weeks, it is still fairly intense. I'm truly enjoying the experience and believe that being able to concentrate on one subject at a time has allowed me to really learn the material more in-depth than when I was attending traditional classes and working on 4 or 5 subjects at once.

This month we are studying theories of personality development and one of this week's subjects was Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. Maslow theorized that a person must have his basic, instinctual survival needs met before he would be capable of pursuing anything beyond those needs. Only when the need for food, shelter and safety are met is a person able to turn his focus on greater achievements such as love and friendship. These needs must be met before a person would be able to look toward higher pursuits such as self-esteem, and so on. Maslow uses the symbol of a ladder in his description, however I like this pyramid graphic, which demonstrates the same upward, tiered progression.

For an assignment, I just took an online assessment based on his work and my results are interesting...I have "an average level of individual development". Nothing says "normal" like being called "average", I guess. Still, at this particular point in my life, in my current living situation and financial situation, I have to wonder if the test results are completely accurate. Here's the chart and abbreviated description of my results, with a link to the site if you'd like to take the assessment yourself.

Physiological Needs		||||||||||||||	54%
Safety Needs		||||||||||||||	60%
Love Needs		||||||||||	37%
Esteem Needs		||||||	30%
Self-Actualization		||||||||||||||	55%

Maslow Inventory Results

Physiological Needs (54%) you appear to have an adequate supply of basic necessities. Safety Needs (60%) you appear to have an adequately secure environment. Love Needs (37%) you appear to be content with the quality of your social connections. Esteem Needs (30%) you appear to have a high level of personal competence. Self-Actualization (55%) you appear to have an average level of individual development.

Take Free Maslow Inventory Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Although I'm not thoroughly convinced of the accuracy of results, the test did cause me to take a moment to reflect on my current circumstances and examine how I feel based upon where I am at this point in life. Truly, I never anticipated having to start over again and relearn how to live and survive on my own in my 40's. It wasn't part of my plan, but the only constant in life is change and therefore, to survive, we must adapt. And adapting is hard. Life still feels like a constant, up-hill daily struggle to survive. But, according to Maslow, I'm adapting quite well. I guess I'm just gonna have to take his word for it.

Hot Water Pipes, Leaks and Ripped Up Floors...

It's been a CRAZY week here! The past several days I've had to take the baby and spend the day at my mother's apartment...mine has a huge hole in the floor. They dug down past the concrete and rock, right to the dirt of the earth! But they fixed the leaking main hot water line for this building (lucky me, got the apartment on top of the leaking hot water pipe--this is the second time the maintenance crew has had to do this!) and now we have really nice, comfy, hot water for showers and dishes again.

At the moment, there is a plywood barrier in the kitchen to keep us off the newly poured concrete. Thankfully, Chelsea seems to be staying away from that. Tomorrow, we'll be out of the apartment again for them to replace the tile. Unfortunately, they'll be putting in "extras" they have lying around and won't actually "replace" the tile in the entire area until "they have extra time and can fit it it"...read--"it's not going to get done until you move out and we have to prepare the apartment for a new tenant". Well, it's HUD housing, a huge complex in Tulsa with well over 1000 units and the maintenance guys are really very nice, so I don't mind having bright yellow, orange and stained grey tile until I have my own place again. The guys are nice enough that I won't complain--they're doing the best they can with the job they have! Wouldn't want their job for ANYTHING in the world!!!

Anyway, the whole experience has just thrown me off-kilter. I can't seem to get a handle on this week, I'm forgetting things, having a hard time focusing on my schoolwork, and just generally feel befuzzled! Hopefully this time, the repair will take and we won't have to go through this again. Of course, Chelsea is taking it all in stride and loving having the extra time at Nana's house. And it's nice to get away from the "slums" for awhile--but I can't complain...it's roof over our heads for a price I can actually afford on no income. God provides.

In the midst of it all, I'm still seeing the chiropractor three times a week. I don't think I'd be able to maintain an actual job at this point if I tried! Life gets really hectic at times, and this is one of them. But, I look hopefully into the future, believing that someday soon we will have a home of our own in an actual neighborhood, a new career and baby girl will be the top of her little preschool class...I'm not giving up on the dream!

 

My Dream Home

A sweet little bungalow in Tulsa

God is Good!

I'm always amazed when God miraculously intervenes in my life--and by now, I shouldn't be. I'm one of his little girls and he has taken care of me every single day of my life. BTW, I hope you enjoy my new layout...I like this one alot!

Today, my brother-in-law purchased a Hyundai SUV for only $2300 at a car auction which I will pay for out of student loans. It looks to be the only car in the auction that wasn't a victim of an accident, it just has some storm damage. At first, I thought I was going to have to live with the broken windshield and dents for awhile, but to get the title on a "salvage" vehicle, you must fix the things wrong. So he's having his guys take the dents out, fix the windshield and he's taking care of getting the tag, tax and title taken care of. So for less than $3000, I'll have this cute little vehicle and NO car payments! It'll be two more weeks before I have it, but God bless him, he got me a pretty sweet little ride!

I met with the other guy's insurance company today for them to assess the wrecked car. I was certain (as was my lawyer) that they would total the car out. The problem with this is that when they do that, the insurance company takes possession of the car. And they are only obligated to get me a rental until they give me money for the car...and I would have to pay the costs of insurance above the basic liability that I had on my car. So I was looking at being out of a vehicle until the SUV was ready to drive.

Lo and behold, the insurance man gave me a choice. I could have him total it out and he'd take it then and cut me a check OR he would give me 95% of the costs of repair and he would cut me a check and I would keep my car. AND, rather than the few hundred dollars that I thought I was getting, he gave me over $1000 for that old Mitsubishi! That's enough to survive this month until my student loan check arrives.

God is so good. I cannot say it enough! God is SOOO good!

Money, Decisions, and the Future

It's been a rough few months. I've gone from having no income (for one month) to having more than I needed (for 6 weeks) to having just barely enough to pay the bills (now) to looking at possibly having no income again. This time, I'll have student loans to pay the bills with, but I'm looking at going months between checks, so it is now essential that I learn to budget.

I have a new checking account--my first checking account in over 3 years! I've been operating on a cash basis for so long that I'm really nervous about the account. In fact, I'm so used to living on the cash at hand, that I have about $60 in my purse and about $70 in the checking account and I keep thinking "I'm down to my last $60". But that can't be bad. The money in the bank will be there if I really need it, but I'm not using the checkbook or the bank card at all at this point. I've paid a few bills online with the bank account but that's it so far. Once my loan arrives, I'll open a savings account as well and then things will get really complicated...I'm pretty nervous over these new money issues.

I know this all seems pretty elementary to most anyone reading this. And a 43 year old woman who is nervous about having a checking account and scared of the checkbook is pretty rare, I imagine. But I've never had to do any of this. I went from a daddy who took care of everything to a husband who took care of everything. When that all changed four years ago, I just floundered. But now that I'm getting my feet under me, I guess it's time to grow up--finally!

I did discover a wonderful website that is really helping me keep everything straight. It's ClearCheckbook.com and is basically an online checkbook register. I haven't paid for the premium service yet, but probably will at some point. They also have an iPhone app, which I could see would make this an extremely valuable resource as you would be able to enter a transaction at the time you did it rather than having to wait until you're at the computer. I can see myself breaking down and getting an iPhone at some point down the road as well, but at this point I'm just happy to have my $1.95 home phone service.

I decided when I received an unexpected check from Chelsea's father and the bills were all paid that I would take just a tiny bit of it and have my rings resized so that I could wear them again. I've lost a tremendous amount of weight since I purchased these rings and none of them fit any longer. Driving down the road, I ran across a pawn shop that did ring sizing and jewelry repair so stopped in. I happened upon a Yamaha keyboard, full-size keys, for only $50. I'd really like my daughter Bethany to have an opportunity to learn piano and I've sincerely missed owning one myself. (I've played for 37 years now, but haven't had my own piano for the past 4 years.) So, the rings are still too big. But I'm so glad I bought the keyboard! That's been a goal of mine for quite some time now and we are all really enjoying having a keyboard and making music!

Savings Challenge for 2010

I've always been one to pick up pennies. But I've never been one to save them.

Years ago, I have a friend who saved pennies. She bought one of those big water jugs--the kind you take to the store to refill--and filled it with pennies--just pennies. It took her 3 years to fill it. When she cashed it in, she had accumulated $300 of money that she would have never really known she had. I was impressed enough to go buy myself a water jug. I'd get about an inch of change in there (I saved ALL coins, not just pennies), but then I would get low on cash and see that jug sitting there...and you can figure out what happened next. That was about 8 years ago and I gave up.


A few days ago I was at the grocery store and a woman had a zip-lock bag of coins that she was dumping into one of those coin-counting machines. She'd only dumped in half the bag at the point I walked by and the screen, which was counting her money as she dumped it, was reading out $27.00, $28.00, $29.00...

I was impressed.

 I decided at that point to return to my plan to save coins, but for me to really make this work, it's going to have to be a goal--a challenge for myself. So here it is:

For the remainder of 2010, I vow to save every coin I have, whether from change or from the parking lot.

For the remainder of 2010, when using cash, I will ONLY spend dollar bills on items, no matter how small the overage is. If I get 98 cents in change, it will go into the jug. I will not use 2 pennies from my purse.

For the remainder of 2010, I will empty my coin purse every night before bed into my money jug.

For the remainder of 2010, I WILL NOT count the coins I have saved (so as to not tempt myself) and I will paint my money jug so I cannot see the inside of it.

For the remainder of 2010, if I find that the jug is full before December 31st, I will take the coins to a change machine, cash it in, and deposit that amount into a separate savings account.

At the end of 2010, I will use the funds I have accumulated to take my three children on a vacation--after all, this is money I'm not really missing as I go through the year so I may as well just make a memory, have some fun and enjoy life a little bit :O)

I've already begun this process. It really makes me take a moment to think about those tiny little purchases. The taco I purchased last night was 99 cents...$1.07 after tax. So I put the 97 cents I received in change in my savings coin purse and realized that the taco just cost me $2.00, not 99 cents. But the change that I got back would have been puttered away without my realizing where it went anyway, so now, instead, I've saved that 97 cents for a family vacation.

For the remainder of 2010, I will be researching great family vacation spots! It'll be a little bit difficult because I truly have no idea how much I will have to spend on this vacation until that final day of the challenge. But I imagine that if a water jug full of pennies equals about $300, then a water jug full of all coins will come up to WAY more than that! My goal is to fill at least 3 water jugs with pennies, nickels, dimes, quarters and possibly dollar coins by December 31st. Talk about a Happy New Year!!!

This is going to be a lot of fun! I think I might even ask the kids to join in and bring me coins when they have them--it can be a family challenge. Matthew and Bethany would both really enjoy having something for us to be working on together and we all get to reap the benefits of our hard work together! Win-Win!

Memorial Day Memories

BEFORE...this was always just another day off work to sit out in the sun and play in the water with friends. I never gave much thought to the meaning of the holiday, the remembrance of those who fought and died so that I can have days off work to sit in the sun in freedom and play in the water without worrying about bombs landing nearby. But that all changed for me on May 13, 2005.


 Just 2 weeks and 2 days before Memorial Day in 2005, my father died of a massive brain tumor. He was a veteran but because it was so close to Memorial Day, the local armed forces could not spare enough men to give him the traditional 21 gun salute or have someone there to play Taps. He did have the flag draped over his coffin but I remember being so incensed that he could give so many years of his life to his country and they couldn't give him 2 hours for a funeral. I focused on that anger and blocked out all other feelings at the time. It's taken me these 5 years in full to begin to come to terms with the loss of my father and the impact that had on my life. He was not only a hero to our country, he was my personal hero and I love him so much!

Now, on May 13th, I may or may not consciously think about the loss of my father, but when Memorial Day arrives and the memories that this association carries with his funeral come to mind, I always think of my Dad. I have not been out to visit his grave site yet. For awhile, I drove by the Floral Haven Funeral Home and graveyard every day on the way to work and I'd always whisper to myself  "Hi, Dad...I miss you". When leaving Tulsa to move down to Ardmore a few years ago, I felt a deep  need to go visit the grave site but upon arriving and parking in the vicinity of the American flags that mark the veteran portion of the grave yard, I realized to my dismay that I couldn't find the exact spot where my father lay. It was devastating to me and I just sat on a bench somewhere near where he is buried and just cried and prayed. Then I left for what would turn out to be the two most difficult years of my life. Years when I felt abandoned by my father and lost without his support and guidance. And during that time, I lost touch with my Heavenly Father as well. Life became very difficult and I felt very alone.


But today, I know Dad didn't leave me and God didn't take him away from me. God chose to welcome him on in to heaven where he would receive complete healing and joy and peace. And today, I know that God never tried to hurt me or make my life hard. The choices that I made during that time caused the difficulty that I went through. That's me there, in Dad's loving and protective arms when I was but 2 years old. Today, I also know, without a shadow of a doubt, that if I had really been on my own, without God's love and silent protection, my life would have been oh, SOOO much harder than it was.

So, today, I am able to celebrate rather than mourn. I remember fondly, not sadly. The tears are joyful, not painful. And I look forward, with great anticipation, to the someday when I will see my dad again, hold his hand, give him a long, hard hug and tell him how very much I love and have missed him! And the reunion will be such a sweet, joyful day for both of us!

Mom and Dad, 2004

Sunday: A Day of Rest and Attempted Relaxation

The dishes are in the sink...waiting. The unfinished outline for my 10-page research paper is still sitting beside me on the desk. Toys are scattered across the floor and switching mine and Chelsea's rooms around is a project on permanent hold. But I've wracked up over 2000 points on Facebook's Family Feud and am having a peaceful afternoon enjoying Chelsea's dancing to country hits in the front room. And, at the end of the day, I know the FlyLady will understand! You can visit her site at www.flylady.net where she will walk you baby-step-by-baby-step through the process of getting and keeping your house in order and encourage you all over the place, every step of the way! (UPDATE: Make that 4000 pts. on Family Feud :O)

OK, so I'm not that good at relaxing...I can't stay on the couch with the heating pad, no matter how hard I try! So at the moment, I have the heating pad crammed behind me against a pillow here at the desk, but when I'm at the desk (actually, the kitchen table-turned-desk), here in the dining "area" of my little 900 sq. ft. apartment, where I have full view of the kitchen and living room...and the dishes, and the folded laundry on the couch, and the toys on the floor, and the trash that needs to be taken out...well, I find it nearly IMPOSSIBLE to stay put!!! So, after playing a little more Family Feud, I decided to avoid ALL housework because, well--I have an injured back. And what better way to take care of my back than to cook Chelsea a big pot of goulash! A three-part process that took me nearly an hour, but she and Bethany--who is here to spend the night again since, well, we didn't even make it home Friday evening and Saturday was spent at the doctor's office, so her overnighter wasn't much fun (this is the "make-up overnighter")--she and Bethany LOVE the goulash.

Goulash is a favorite around here...and it's different every time! One of the ways we survive without an income is through food stamps and WIC ("Women, Infants and Children", a government program similar to food stamps for low-income pregnant women and mother's of small children). On WIC, we get beans, beans and more beans! Thankfully, my little one loves beans and when I hide them in a casserole, Bethany likes them, too. Tonight's goulash was a mishmash of taco-seasoning-flavored ground beef, fire-roasted canned tomato chunks, fresh garlic, great northern beans and small elbow macaroni (which hides the beans as they are the same color and size--sneaky, sneaky!) I mixed a little three-cheese ranch into the sauce before adding the macaroni then topped the whole thing off with thickly shredded mild cheddar cheese and baked it at 300 for about 30 minutes until the cheese melted down into the mixture and started to turn golden on top. Delicious!So my goal for the rest of the evening, now that Bethany has arrived, is to let the girls play together and actually watch a TV show (from beginning to end!!!) that doesn't include colorful animals singing cute little catchy songs...maybe something with murder, mayhem and mystery or I may just watch an entire movie! WOW! What a thought! I don't have any idea what "grown up" shows are on Sunday nights, so rare is the evening when Chelsea's not in my immediate shadow at every moment. But I don't mind, she IS my little shadow and I love her!